Yeah

Oh but I wanted you even then... An instant attraction complete gravitational pull I just suppressed it for a while because I'm a good girl but now that it's free I don't want to hold back ... I like you 

I am sad but happy. Why do I feel so lame? I just wish I was the only girl in the world that you ever looked at. You make me feel amazing and beautiful but am I good enough? I hope so: I just want to be the one who you want to stay with forever 

I wish my dancing at school was more legit but everyone is just kinda mean and I'm only in one dance.... Is it my fault

Thanksgiving is coming up? What are you thankful for... I don't know I wish I would have gone to that party I wish you wouldn't have left I wish you would surprise me with flowers and say that I'm the only thing that matters but of course you are in other words in other ways in the most simple way with no words just the way you act 

Women and men

The idea that a woman can not defend herself. The idea that woman must bow down to the man. No it is not said yes it is implied. Men must come and pick us up because we are helpless little creatures. When men are to short we must not date them, women must never argue with a man even when he is making her feel terrible or unloved. If she does speak her mind that woman is crazy and is thought to be over emotional. Like it's a bad thing that she notices you looking at other women and she calls you out on it. But you are overreacting, you are looked at like a crazy girlfriend. And when you stop dating so you can be with that other girl you are now the crazy ex girlfriend. And then the competition really starts and the women now fight for the man on an even higher level. A man who thinks he can degrade a woman but still get love at night a man who thinks he can be an asshole in a relationship than expect you to stay forever. And the man!!! Oh the man he feels upset he can't express himself he feels mad he can not act shy but what are the mans dangers? Oh he will be seen as an effeminate and be looked down upon. But will he? Will his friends really say wow johnnie you cry so we will Laugh at you?! No his friends will say we understand we all have had a crazy girlfriend that has dumped us. Women are supposed to use another guy to get over the other guy that "cared" that saw then as an equal. As you notice I have not said I because this isn't about me this is about YOU and how you YOU YOU YOU LET IT HAPPEN you the person that goes back to the same guy YOU who calls that girl a slut or that guy an asshole and insane YOU YOU crazy girl for thinking you are a princess when you are actually a king and there are no subjects because we are the subjects being told we are more and can't break free because of our government that creates  the videos we see and the barbies we play with YOU who think that anything will change while you fuck seven guys and just say "I'm just having fun" like they are play things YOU who thinks that tinder is funny and grinder is fun to mess with guys and girls "because we all came here one thing... To have fun to laugh" YOYOUOYOYOUYOUYOU 

Hello

Hello good people.... I will try to update as much as possible. I feel bad not writing more, I need and want it. 

Sexuality: 

The human is a vessel for the soul and when we are born we are clean and pure. Society has taken us to a new level of patriarchy and hate, by encoding in us a rich sense of condemnation and guilt. The guilt of a female and how she is perceived. The shame and abuse. If you think feminism is stupid I dare you to try to argue with me. It makes up everything we are. Maybe you are alright with big fat white men deciding our lives but I'm not. Who makes those music videos that exploit women?? White men? I could go on but I'm tired and angry. I just hate the way our system is, and the alternative is even hard to imagine. Women and men can desire each other of course it's a part of life but lately it seems like the woman is a silhouette or a shell and just used for the man. She is a shadow and used for many things but still not highly regarded. What is the alternative?? Their is none, but maybe someday 

excitement

I grow very excited for the school year, but also nervous for time. Time to relax, time to sing, time to work, and time to breathe.

I know it will fly by to quickly, i know i will be present in all.

Please don't forget me

i don't want to leave

i don't want to leave but i have to and i want to. How can i stop crying? I don't want to lose summer i don't want to grow old. But it is happening and i can't stop it i don't want to die….. but it is happening and i can't stop it. i and crying for the people I've met this summer and who ill never see again… i am crying for the best summer I've had and i don't want to leave why is change hard for me… i am crying because i don't want to leave my best friend anymore… i hardly saw my nanny this summer and it killls me and i hardly hung out with my brother and it kills me. will he be okay? i will never know, will i be ok? i will never know. I am so happy tis summer happened and all the things that came with it.
I loved mac demarco and buffalo
Vibes let me live. I
I loved all the parties, i loved all of the beach.
I loved being without cell phone service
I hate packing,. I hate this life I'm forced to live
Why can't i just travel and not be in debt but still make something of myself.

i love my school i am just sad and i know i will be fine i just need to be water

The new moon falls upon us
we can hardly see the sky
the moon has gone away
but not the heaviness in our hearts

the life that pulls you and the life that is inside you

the love for change but the hatred of working for it may never stop

to all the people that carried me in their hearts
ill be seeing you

Peppers

I'm eating green peppers. One of my favorite foods.

Last night we joined together and began again. There was only a few of us their. Mostly great friends but a couple of new ones. WE had the best time,,,, stayed up all night. Loved each other…
THIS is what it is all about. It is not about going to a festival of trying to prove you can do this or that. It is about staying up for hours talking about literature poetry science the world music love and people. Its talking about your past no judgement just happiness. Its talking about making a difference but never speaking those words. This is the new generation the next beats the dharma bums… make me a bodhisattva. i think i am becoming it. We need to go out buy a press and start writing, just writing every single thing down. This is the way this is how it should be. Their hasn't been a moment I have been more alive continually happiness. I was in a deep sadness for two days. I put pressure on myself i didn't see the light/. Im grateful this only happens to me a couple of times a year. Everyone falls but that is the way. 

"The soul unfolds itself like a lotus of countless petals"

I have never heard anything more beautiful. Except maybe the way you look at me or the way your eyes melt. When did I fall in love? the moment I saw you playing at a coffee shop when I couldn't even look at you because you were so beautiful. I looked at my friend hannah and I could tell she thought I was crazy and I didn't even speak a word. I was speechless. The energy, the energy. 

Enlightenment: is a hard thing to describe. I had to do it once for a project in the spring. I think it is the knowledge that you know everything is perfect. It is exactly perfect. It is a combination of synchronicity, love, and most importantly a devotion to contentment and commitment to grow.